Oh for the love of God! Get a new title!
by DynnaChae
Summary: Mind you, they're not IC because they're not supposed to be. For all those that are sick of that "No Need" title... this goes out to you!


To the dismay of the TM! Cast, they congregated in a rather stuffy building located in urban New York City where they met with stuff shirt, tie-wearing businessmen and lawyers all around. It was enough to make you think they were selling stocks, they were selling TM!, even that they were partnering with Bill Gates. This meeting... was for a panel discussion and a discussion alone. The cast sat with blank, flustered expressions as business men laughed heartily at lame jokes and business office mishaps.   
  
The 117th floor of Neo WTC served as a meeting room for Tenchi Masaki and his affiliates. They wondered why they were ever brought to such low standards of negotiations. Why? Because Humans just can't be shot with energy blasts, Ryoko. That's why. Negotiation of the "human" kind was in order. But this insanity had to stop. It had to stop NOW.   
  
Of all the people irritated with the situation, she was the last to show. Ryoko huffed and entered the room, adjusting her silver thin-rimmed eyeglasses and gazing around the room with more disgust than determination. America was a small, anal country with a bunch of loud mouthed insane taxi drivers. She nearly died on her way. Or so she thought. Ryoko wasn't much for driving period. What's all this humanizing for anyway? I'll tell you.  
  
"A panel discussion, to discuss why the title 'No Need For (insert stupid word here)' should be BANNED from any future fanfics regarding Tenchi Muyo!." A burly business man spoke up.  
  
"Might as well ban '(insert stupid word or words here) Muyo!' too while you're at it". Washu huffed.  
  
"Ryoko, who's the chick behind you?" Aeka pointed with a pencil.  
  
"A lawyer? I think she's one. Who knows, who cares, she's here." Ryoko shrugged as the quiet little Asian woman began massaging her shoulders.  
  
"I think she's a masseuse. Where did you find her?" Sasami shuffled some papers.  
  
"Some Korean nail joint when I got my nails done." Ryoko twisted her hand to show Sasami her French manicure.  
  
"Yes, but WHY is she here?" A business man raised a brow.  
  
"Look, we're not here to interrogate Ryoko, we're here to get to the bottom of this bull so I can go home and never have to deal with another stupid fanfic title again." Ryoko rolled her golden eyes and glared at the business man.  
  
Tenchi stood up and cleared his throat, "And on that note, I propose that we find a way to put it to an end. It's unoriginal. I'm afraid to say it's even becoming cliched. Isn't there a way to keep it from happening?"  
  
Ryoko glanced up at him, "Oh well I had an idea."  
  
Aeka rested her hand over Ryoko's "You can't just kill people, darling. It's not right."  
  
Ryoko closed her hand around Aeka's and sighed, "This is so hard on me. A little to the left, Ming-Siu"  
  
Aeka gave Ryoko a sympathetic smile and turned to face Tenchi with her hand still in Ryoko's.  
  
Mihoshi leaned over and whispered in Noboyuki's ear, "So how long do you think they're going to go for?"  
  
"Three days, two hours, seventeen minutes and five seconds." Noboyuki whispered as Mihoshi marked the "How long Ryoko and Aeka are Going to Stay Together Before they Break up for the Twenty-seventh Time Poll"  
  
Kiyone eyed the chart, "How am I looking?"  
  
Mihoshi added up the numbers in her head, "Not bad if you fi..."  
  
A book silenced the two.  
  
"The titles! We're here for the titles!!!" Tenchi pleaded.  
  
Sasami sighed "OK, maybe if we just asked NICELY."  
  
"Tried it." Washu crossed her arms.  
  
"How about we demand it?" Sasami shuffled through her papers again.  
  
"Been there, done that and bought the T-shirt. Sold it on E-bay for a good price too." Yosho stretched.  
  
"HOW ABOUT WE HUNT DOWN THE LIMEY BASTARDS AND BEAT THEM OVER THE HEAD WITH BATS UNTIL THEIR BRAINS POUR OUT AND WE DANCE IN THEIR BRAIN JUICE LIKE TRIUMPHANT LITTLE TYRANTS ON LSD?!?!?!?!" Sasami made a fist and brought it down on the table.  
  
"That... that might work" Kiyone blinked.  
Tenchi sighed loudly, "Ladies, gentlemen please! I'd like to go home today!"  
  
Ryoko shifted in her seat "What do you propose we do then? Higher, woman, higher."  
  
Aeka scratched her temple "Perhaps we could write a lovely scented letter to the owner of the fanfiction site and request that they filter out these No Need names."  
  
Washu chimed in with "And Muyo."  
  
Aeka shot a glare at her "And Muyo."  
  
The business men all murmured for a moment. One finally sat up. "We were thinking something along the lines of electric prodders that we could poke fanfic writers with. Something that would give discomfort but won't kill them."  
  
The cast raised a brow.  
  
"Tenchi... what the hell kind of lawyers office is this?" Mihoshi looked up from her stopwatch.  
  
Tenchi looked around "Well... they defended Timothy Mc Veigh..."  
  
The cast face faulted.  
  
"Tenchi?" Kiyone looked up at him.  
  
"Yea Kiyone?"  
  
"He's dead, Tenchi."  
  
Tenchi sweat dropped, "Why?"  
  
Kiyone sighed and slid lower in her chair. "I have a feeling this isn't going to be resolved."  
  
"OK... we're going to fix this now." Ryoko stood to her feet. "HEY! All of you out there! Yea you, the readers! It's time for a revolution!"  
  
*organ music*  
  
Aeka nodded, "mm hmm"  
  
"It's time for a change!" Ryoko balled her fist  
  
Kiyone jumped up, "Yes'um!"  
"You need to RECOGNIZE before I REGULATE and LIBERATE this situation!" Ryoko threw her arms out at her sides.  
  
Washu grinned, "Preach it sister!"  
  
Ryoko jumped on the table "All you people out there listen up!" She points to the reader and bares her fangs "We gotta stop this now! Nip it in the bud! Go out and read Tenchi Muyo fics! And look for those damn titles! And when you find them! Leave a review and tell them to END THIS NONSENSE! It's tired! It's played out! It's JUST PLAIN STUPID! We get it! No need for the title No Need!"  
  
Washu jumps up "OR BLANK MUYO!"  
  
Ryoko kicks Washu off the table, "Stop hogging my spotlight, woman." She turned back to the reader, "Can I get an amen?!?!"  
  
"AMEN!" Aeka fainted.  
  
"Can I get a Haleugiah!?"  
  
"HALELUGIAH!!" Sasami jumped around.  
  
Ryoko stalked across the table and picked a business man up by his collar. "That's how you run a discussion panel!"  
  
The man nodded nervously.   
  
"I'm going home. Aeka!" Ryoko turned her back and jumped off the table.  
  
Aeka and the rest of the cast followed out in suit singing "We Shall Overcome."  
  
The business men all exchanged worried glances and excused themselves.  
  
Ming-Siu stood in the room by herself and glanced at the door. "Where my fie dalla?"  
  
~*~End  
  
~~~  
*massages her temples* Oh god... I was so bored! Lol I did this in five minutes. Lol I'm going to bed and pretending like I didn't submit it. I don't own Tenchi Muyo! or any of it's characters, scenes or that really kawaii bear that was dropped on Ryoko's head in ep 10 of the OVAs. 


End file.
